A few years ago, my younger Brother was in a troubled state
An intelligent young man having just obtained his law degree
and returning to visit after passing his New York and California State Bar Exams; something started to not be right.
Having difficulties, or showing a lack of interest in pursuing his
profession, he started wandering and traveling about the country for months on
end. Concern, of which there was, was always abated by a return visit or a phone call.
My Brother wanted to touch base. He wanted to discuss that which was on his mind, or in some cases needed assistance in getting his car back in working condition. But whatever the reason, I always went out to see him. Invariably he was never far, just
down the road, having been in the area already for a few days, assumably awaiting an opportune moment to catch me.
These meeting continued three to four times a year for
almost three-years, with each subsequent encounter more painful than the
previous. Painful because it seemed that my Brother was becoming more distant to perceived reality, and much more difficult to communicate with. He became
more disheveled and less attuned to his positive placement in society.
During each of these meetings, my pain grew deeper because
my Brother was in pain and was not finding his way out. I utilized the words
and actions that, to my presence of mind would hopefully bring him out from his
pain, but to no avail. I could not understand that which he was going through, how it related to normalization in society, and that which should be communicated be me to him to bridge this chasm and return him to a path of clarity~or social integration.
Upon reflection of how I myself was presenting my assistance to him, to which level of certitude or urgency that I was placing in my actions towards helping him; They now seem to have been somewhat constrained. Constrained as if by chains, holding me back from what I either truly and to say to him, or a hesitancy in my actions towards him - from those that I truly wanted to demonstrate and act upon.
Saturday afternoon, July 11, 2005. My Brother calls me …
he’s having car trouble, and he’s right down the street. I go to help. It’s
been six-months since I’ve seen him … and he has traveled far from reality. We work together to get
his vehicle functioning properly, but for the tires he needs replaced, well,
those will have to wait until Monday, when the stores re-open.
It is at this point that I realize that I have been stung by
My words of rapprochement, to spend the next few days with
me at my home with the Family are not said. I do not take him under my wing as a brother should, but my actions are replaced with coldness. Get a hotel room and
I’ll see you in a couple of days, I tell him.
No, he replies with sadness ... I’ll
take care of it.
We part ways. Four days later, on the 15th of
July of 2005 (the 8th of Tammuz - which is my birth date) ... My Brother is dead.
While in the Gold Butte Reservation of Arizona, his tires
went flat. Not being able to change them, with no one around and temperatures
over 115 degrees; his water supply went quickly. Just in the distance was Lake
Mead; if you recall the pictures from the brochures, you can envision the
boaters enjoying the cool waters ... their laughter cascading over the waves and carrying through the desert heat to where; Half-way to the Lake and one-hundred yards from the roadside, with the
heat of the scorched rocks burning his prostate face... My Brother recalled the last words of the person he loved the most ... as he shed his last tear before passing.
This site aims to be a portal. A portal for all of us to
join together, to share our positive light with each other and those around us
in the larger community. To defray and eliminate the occurrences of deflection,
the Snake Bite and the Scorpion Sting … the Ego and the sins of our inequitude.
This site is dedicated to the victims of Say-Tan; Victims of
Snakebites, Scorpion Stings and misdirection’s of the ego; and to those whom we
love who either see us in pain or who are recipients of our pain.
May Our Light be Shared by Others and darkness removed.